birthday ?!?!? =P

this week had a lot people birthday, buy present until nearly bankrupt edi

[joking XD]

but really... i really didn't realize that this 2 weeks a lot of youth in my church are borned in this week.

Jeremiah, Jun, Daniel,Rachel. . .

and this sunday is my own birthday already ...

actually not only myself...

Vivien,children in sunday school,

Mr.Yee, our church's librarian,

Mico, the worker of comic shop

Wau.. it really a lot of people arround me having same date of own birthday with me !!

But how i look to my own birthday?

actually if possible

i don't want people celebrate my birthday...

i also don't know why..

Got one time when i pour out all my dissapointment event in my heart,

i include this issue, but after i analyse, actually is not also...

I agree that i am a kind of person who can't accept anything will dissapointed me,

but, i won't disspointed that people not celebrate my birthday

instead i had a record that i purposely absent from some event because i know that my friend will celebrate my birthday...

[naughthy leh.. but it won't happen again, not because responsibility, but got personal excuss=)]

and really, when my friend celebrate my birthday with me... it should be very happy,

but every years... i had different types of friends celebrate my birthday

instead, not 1 time i felt really happy from my heart.

May be because of this gua...

i don't want my friend celebrate my birthday...

hmm...

because i felt that their "investment" are not so "correct" XD

yet, i still will appreciate what my friend did for me geh

must have a grateful heart mah=)

and some more b4 blow the candles, sure my friend will ask me make a wish...

actually that time i will very confuse...

because i really don't know what i really want...

a new car?

can't get it now, i still haven't learn how to "love" my car XD
my life partner?

i can't handle what i facing now, how can i so selfish go and destroy a girl's life XD

many money?

money management still not so good, if i have a lot money now just will destroy my entire life.

a good internet connection?

ya, may be i need this, because currently my internet line really killing me,

but this is not so important, i still can wait . . . don't waste the wish like that XD

bonus coming ASAP?

ya.. it need, if not when i go to KL end of this month,
again i need a very great faith that God will provide $$$ to me like last year when i travel to Singapore!
but since God can provide, should be no problem, then better don't waste my wish...

XD

haha, this is me...

i really don't know what i need..

even i already reach the age get my marriage,

yet i still won't worry about it,

so that why nothing to push me "wish" about it XD

so again i may make a wish that really not so related to me...

not because i so mighty or so good

i don't think that i am so great...

but, if God will listen my birthday wish and let it come to pass

even the blessing will not flow to me,

at least it can flow to some one rite=)
chinese people said:

don't waste the good thing mah, rite XD

21 hours and 30 minutes more

my birthday come

at here...
i wish myself happy birthday 1st

then i wish all people who have same birthday with me=)

God bless=)

VISION

one day,during prayer meeting

i was sit at the corner...

and during worship,i just felt that i quite "drunk"

and i saw that i sit at the corner in the huge room.

i realize that, this room is huge, but empty inside

only got the light, but the light it wasn't look bright,

it seem like the light in hospital during midnight.

and i found that in this room i didn't see got any door or windows.

suddenly, i hear some body just knock this room.

i realize that is Jesus.

He is asking me permition to go inside this room

my heart was not rejected

and i was really welcome to come inside.

but...

there is no door!

So, i just remember the movie i watch this afternoon

TRANSFORMER.

in the movie, the module will let the current flow to the machine

and the machine will alive.

so i just imagine that i oso have this current, and when i touch the wall

got one door just appear like tat and Jesus come inside.

to serve a guest, sure need a chair rite.

again, i imagine a chair just appear in the middle of the room

and invite Jesus sit on it.

before He sit on it, He ask me a question:

"Do you willing let me be the one who help you redecorate your room, and you will surrender all the authority to me without refuse"

my heart was thinking, is not bad, since i not well in decoration and it cause my room look so empty.

so i agree it.

When Jesus sit on the chair,

at the west corner suddenly a volcano slowly rise up from the land and burst up;

at the same time, east corner just a tornado appear;

at north corner,water.. no, is a float coming like tsunami fill at there;

and at south corner, got a great earthquake and the room appear many crack...

i was shock... why the peace land suddenly like that

i look to Jesus, and He seem like nothing.. just let the disaster continue in my room..

i want to ask Him why, but before that He already ask me be patient.

so i keep quite.

after a while, the volcano at west slowly move to north,

it same like other disaster, tsunami move to east; tornado move to south and earthquake move to west.

there are moving in clock-wise direction.

can you imagine? a peaceful room after encouter these disaster. . .

what will remain...

that time i really broke down...

"why" just full in my heart

but it look like Jesus don't want stop it...

i really tired,dissapointed,give up all the thing...

and really i want to take my 1st step walk out from this room since it look like not suitable for me live any more.

but before i take 1st step, Jesus just stop me and ask me trust Him.

He encourage me be patient and just wait...

at 1st i want act in rebel but at the end i choose to wait.

"it is okies.. just wait and see how"

don't know how long is it... the disaster slowly dissapear...

the room is mix up and i couldn't find a nice place...

i look at Jesus, He still able to show me a smile to comfort me...

and point to a corner, ask me look at it...

when my face turn and see

again i am shock...

after the earthquake... the land become softer..

after the volcano burst up... a lot of the mineral from underground was coming out...

after the tornado... the ground was mix with the mineral...

the land become fertile and suitable for all plants...

and after the tsunami... a few of the small island is forming in my room...

and then, because the land is fertile and full of different mineral, many plants just keep growing and growing... it become a very nice forest at the end..

slowly... some of the animal just fade in ... they are enjoy in this land...

i can heard the song composed by different birds with different sound...

the small animals just running arround, make this room full of joy...

and because of the reflextion of the water, a rainbow just form..

i was so amazed and look to Jesus again.

He spoke to me:

"this is for you... I felt that your room is very empty, so I decide help you add something here,

I very thank you that you willing invite Me come into your room,

and trust Me 100%

even that before My works start, I had asked you to surrender your authority to me,

you still can decide to stop all of this happen.

but

you didn't do that.

and when you want to give up,

and I asked you to stay,

you still willing to trust Me,

I very appericiate it,because I know that is not easy for you to make this decision.

For your faithfulness and patient, you are worthy to recieve these.

Do you like it ? "

many time, during we walk with Christ, we found that the path was rougher than before...

full of trap, temptation , disaster ,betrayed...

can't found any good thing...

but one thing can ensure that is, God never let go of us.

He who holds our hands, who holds our future...

we may get hurt, attack or really perish during we walk on this path,

but He will be our refuge always..

just rest in Him and continue the path after fully recover

Can ensure that, the end point will not disspointed us =)

God bless=)

i want a long..................holiday!!!! XD

wau... this season in my life really tiring leh...

don't know how many time i fall down, then have to raise up again to continue my journey

sometime hit the wall, some time blur blur and lost XD

but glad that Jesus He still walk with me =)

i really hunger for a long holiday

just lay down all my responsibility, can have few day just doing wat i like to do

no need to worry or have to think wat is the next.

really tired already

because i not the type of person can have fun during working XD

i will just concentrate it and just want to finish it as soon as possible

and then think wat is the next...

So that why my leader call me as workaholic XD

but . . . this can't blame me mah,

if i too free edi.. i will lost , better do something and contribute something right

don't waste it mah XD

but after contribute, must get restore geh

know why?

Seriously

i been working in MPH 3 years already

almost of the time i am the only guys

majortity of the heavy work was did by me

(i not try praise myself here, don't throw stone/egg 1st, let me finish XD)

but since i am the ONLY ONE, mean that i can't do all the thing right?

so it become the female try their best and finish the assigment.

really, i still remember when i just start working

my outlet head( last time just retail executive lah) was very very weak,

ask her carry 10++ kg of books

her face will turn red like suddenly her love one just appear in front of her

but now. . . . . .

ask her carry few ctns with 20+++ kg each, she said NO PROBLEMS LAH,WET WET WATER!!

scary or not XD

So, can imagine how strong am i now after going through this refining process ^-^

but as chinese people said,

"hang you neck also need some time to breath"

(hope u get it XD )

so now i not asking,

BUT SHOUTING I WANT HOLIDAY(s)!!!!!

just one more month, one more month

after my asst.supervisor back from her maternity leave

then MPH hire more staff

then i can clear my leave

surrender ALL my responsibility(not only in working place)

and enjoy my life

(who know my life partner will appear in this time or not XD)

so... patient...build this in my life

amen

Good nite =)

p/s : i still have 12 annual leave+ some public holiday haven't use it ...

i hope that my asst.supervisor WILL NOT PRENGANT AGAIN NEXT YEAR!!!! XD

transformer can change my life?? =)

last week i went to watch transformer again, because Marcus really want to watch this show, so that i able company with him because at first i plan 2 watch second time for learning how they match the music with the show (mean learn the sound effect lah XD)

but this time, this movie very meaningful for me, it same like last time , God using movie and spoke to me...

1st time when i watch this show, my tears was come out when Optimus Prime sacrifice himself to protected Sam...(Honestly, as a boy, i agree that my emotion quite weak =]) but 2nd time when i watch it... my tears was coming out not only when Optimus Prime died (even i know that he will resurrection XD) , many scene watch touching me until my tears come out non-stop , (not crying lah, if not i guarantee the whole cinema will "excited" because of me XD ) , want to know why? XD

1st... i really admire about the military... they really submit themselves to the leader and every single command come out from the leader, they will just do it without any doubt and 100%. It let me think about my job and another field. if let say our member or we as a member can just follow the command whose authority above us, will that all plan can run smooth and speed up the process or not.And i learn that , 100% obedience can help to make the plan become successful. In the movie, i also realise that even only 0.01% doubt or disobedience, it may cause us to pay a very high cost for that.And i know that God had train me and want to tear down all my pride,so i can be more humanlity and obedience,i taught that it just a simple process and i able to achieve it if i can persevere... but when i watch the movie.. i know that i still need a long refining process to achieve that kind of the level.

2nd, i quite touch about the decision made by Jetfire, the ex-decepticon. He speak a very powerful word.. "want to be decepticon (bad-guys) or autobot (good guy) is a choice. it let me think back about BS lesson , God always give us choice. He didn't control us, but He will honour our decision. We can choose to say no when we face temptation!!! Even a robot also can make a good decision, as a human, i think should learn it and when next time i facing testing or temptation, i able to say NO and reject it ;)

3rd, Our enemy always come to kill, to steal , to rob and to destroy. It same like the decepticon. they willing to to anything just fullfill their own desire. I suddenly remember that what Pastor had share during chinese service. In Luke 10:35 got 4 types of people : victim, robber, priest&Levites and the last one, the good samaritan. the robber represent our enemy, their philosophy always is :

"what even is mine always belongs to mine, but what ever belongs to yours also belongs to mine", it really selfish, just like the fallen and decepticon in the movie.

but the good samaritan philosophy is :

"what ever belongs to mine, i willing to share with you, it can be yours also"

wau!! it so powerful

the following point it become more and more closer that what i had experince b4.

Optimus Prime never refuse that he had to sacrifice himself to protect Sam. even on his "last breath", the most important thing in his heart was ask Sam to run. Had to know that, He is the last prime to defeat fallen, but He still willing to do that because Sam is the one to hold the key and able to safe the "sun" for this planet. But 2000 years ago, got 1 people He choose come to this earth and sacrifice himself on the cross, without any complain or choose to run away from this plan which call "salvation" , not because some of us hold the key to safe the world, but every single creation in His eyes are precious. Even before He nailed on the cross, many people betrayed Him and forsake Him, He still carry His own cross and continue He journey, because in His heart He know that only through His blood, we can be redeem from sin, we no longer slave under sin but we will been set free and we had freedom to say No to temptation or sin.

and second part of the movie touching me was the Faith of Sam. after all the information "install" to his brain, he choose to believe it and follow it without any doubt or facing any circumstance.

1st part was when the "key" just become dust in front of him, he still never give up and choose to pick up all the dust. Even his gf said it was useless yet he choose believe what in his "mind" is correct.

2nd part was when all the decepticon try to stop Sam go to Optimus death body during Sam and his gf hiding in a house. Sam just tell his gf just run forward to Optimus when got chance, and his gf ask him if failed how? Sam just answer it with full of faith and comfirm "i believe"..

it so powerful and it really touch my heart. i know that God had put many thing in my heart, and because i doubt b4, many thing had just loss from me. even i realise it but many time i can't endure to the end... but i know that 2000 years ago, Jesus choose to realise all the successful key and install in my heart, i will choose to just follow it by my Faith, because my entire Christian life is a life of faith. Because of my faith , i able travel to Singapore without using single sen from ownself (because that time my pocket really empty already.. the only thing i just can trust God He will provide all my need. and really, He didn't dissapointed me, when i reach Singapore, God provide me more than 250 Malaysia Ringgit and more than 250 Singapore Dollar =])

And i should continue rely on God to increase my faith to continue my journey on this earth, AMEN;)

(For that God had create the world which we see today, so i believe that He is very creative.He can use a donkey to speak with His servant, why not He can use a "non-christian" movie speak to me? =) and this is not the 1st time He use movie to speak with me, i encounter this when i watch Hancock and Narnia:the lion, witch and cupboard, and the movie Narnia watch very touch, because i watch until i really cry =)

so... are you speak or communicate with Creator today? ;])

last week i went to watch transformer again, because Marcus he really want to watch this show, so that i able company with him because at first i plan 2 watch second time for learning how they match the music with the show (mean learn the sound effect lah XD)

but this time, this movie very meaningful for me, it same like last time , God using movie and spoke to me...

1st time when i watch this show, my tears was come out when Optimus Prime sacrifice himself to protected Sam...(Honestly, as a boy, i agree that my emotion quite weak =]) but 2nd time when i watch it... my tears was coming out not only when Optimus Prime died (even i know that he will resurrection XD) , many scene watch touching me until my tears come out non-stop , (not crying lah, if not i guarantee the whole cinema will "excited" because of me XD ) , want to know why? XD

1st... i really admire about the military... they really submit themselves to the leader and every single command come out from the leader, they will just do it without any doubt and 100%. It let me think about my job and another field. if let say our member or we as a member can just follow the command whose authority above us, will that all plan can run smooth and speed up the process or not.And i learn that , 100% obedience can help to make the plan become successful. In the movie, i also realise that even only 0.01% doubt or disobedience, it may cause us to pay a very high cost for that.And i know that God had train me and want to tear down all my pride,so i can be more humanlity and obedience,i taught that it just a simple process and i able to achieve it if i can persevere... but when i watch the movie.. i know that i still need a long refining process to achieve that kind of the level.

2nd, i quite touch about the decision made by Jetfire, the ex-decepticon. He speak a very powerful word.. "want to be decepticon (bad-guys) or autobot (good guy) is a choice. it let me think back about BS lesson , God always give us choice. He didn't control us, but He will honour our decision. We can choose to say no when we face temptation!!! Even a robot also can make a good decision, as a human, i think should learn it and when next time i facing testing or temptation, i able to say NO and reject it ;)

3rd, Our enemy always come to kill, to steal , to rob and to destroy. It same like the decepticon. they willing to to anything just fullfill their own desire. I suddenly remember that what Pastor had share during chinese service. In Luke 10:35 got 4 types of people : victim, robber, priest&Levites and the last one, the good samaritan. the robber represent our enemy, their philosophy always is :
"what even is mine always belongs to mine, but what ever belongs to yours also belongs to mine", it really selfish, just like the fallen and decepticon in the movie.
but the good samaritan philosophy is :
"what ever belongs to mine, i willing to share with you, it can be yours also"
wau!! it so powerful

the following point it become more and more closer that what i had experince b4.
Optimus Prime never refuse that he had to sacrifice himself to protect Sam. even on his "last breath", the most important thing in his heart was ask Sam to run. Had to know that, He is the last prime to defeat fallen, but He still willing to do that because Sam is the one to hold the key and able to safe the "sun" for this planet. But 2000 years ago, got 1 people He choose come to this earth and sacrifice himself on the cross, without any complain or choose to run away from this plan which call "salvation" , not because some of us hold the key to safe the world, but every single creation in His eyes are precious. Even before He nailed on the cross, many people betrayed Him and forsake Him, He still carry His own cross and continue He journey, because in His heart He know that only through His blood, we can be redeem from sin, we no longer slave under sin but we will been set free and we had freedom to say No to temptation or sin.

and second part of the movie touching me was the Faith of Sam. after all the information "install" to his brain, he choose to believe it and follow it without any doubt or facing any circumstance.
1st part was when the "key" just become dust in front of him, he still never give up and choose to pick up all the dust. Even his gf said it was useless yet he choose believe what in his "mind" is correct.
2nd part was when all the decepticon try to stop Sam go to Optimus death body during Sam and his gf hiding in a house. Sam just tell his gf just run forward to Optimus when got chance, and his gf ask him if failed how? Sam just answer it with full of faith and comfirm "i believe"..
it so powerful and it really touch my heart. i know that God had put many thing in my heart, and because i doubt b4, many thing had just loss from me. even i realise it but many time i can't endure to the end... but i know that 2000 years ago, Jesus choose to realise all the successful key and install in my heart, i will choose to just follow it by my Faith, because my entire Christian life is a life of faith. Because of my faith , i able travel to Singapore without using single sen from ownself (because that time my pocket really empty already.. the only thing i just can trust God He will provide all my need. and really, He didn't dissapointed me, when i reach Singapore, God provide me more than 250 Malaysia Ringgit and more than 250 Singapore Dollar =])
And i should continue rely on God to increase my faith to continue my journey on this earth, AMEN;)

(For that God had create the world which we see today, so i believe that He is very creative.He can use a donkey to speak with His servant, why not He can use a "non-christian" movie speak to me? =) and this is not the 1st time He use movie to speak with me, i encounter this when i watch Hancock and Narnia:the lion, witch and cupboard, and the movie Narnia watch very touch, because i watch until i really cry =)
so... are you speak or communicate with Creator today? ;])

赵明福

7月17日 晴
今天可真是我生平第一次写部落格，可是我心里却没有一丝的喜悦，像小孩初次得到他第一份玩具的感动，因为我想分享一位与我素未谋面的人--- 赵明福。
赵明福。真心话，这是我第一次看到的名字。这是在我朋友面子书上第一次看到。刚开始我还以为是她的一位朋友过世了，可是当我进入她的部落格才发觉，赵明福与她不过只有一饭之缘。虽然我不是十分了解她，但是她所写的文句充分地表达了她心中的悲痛，使我我感到十分好奇，为何只有一饭之缘的朋友能够为她带来了那么大的影响？
原来赵明福被卷入了一项调查，一个由马来西亚政府的其中一个部门——反贪污局的调查。说实话，我对马来西亚的政治状况真的很无知，还是无知得很可悲。我还以为赵明福是属于国阵，他是因为前雪州议员的豪宅而被反贪污局“请”回去协助调查。直到今天早上我看到了报章的报道，我才知道反贪污局“正在”调查另一宗被怀疑贪污的事件。
为什么一个协助调查会赔上一个珍贵无比的性命，还是一个即将与生命中的另一半结合性命。为什么一宗调查会使到有人痛失朋友，痛失家人，甚至痛失未婚夫？这可是一宗什么样调查？
看到这样的报道。。。说实话，对于本国政治再一无所知的我也不禁想发出疑问了，通常在戏里或书里只看到兄弟或君臣之间争夺王位，现今在真实的世界中却可以看到类似的事情，一个州出现了两个“州务大臣”争权；通常故事中的革命实行中都是轻轻带过而已，哪知发生在现实却是如此的可怕；还以为勾心斗角，不择手段等等的伎俩只会出现在戏里，原来现实世界发生的时候，会比演戏来得更加惊心动魄。为什么世界会变到这个样子。。。 到底赵明福这个案件是什么？是自杀，还是他杀？目的何在？为什么警方“好像” 敷衍民众？是意外事件？还是背后隐藏着一个不可告人的秘密？为什么马来西亚的政治好像越来越混乱了？从争权到现在连人命都赔上了？我心中不禁向主发问，不是一切在你掌控之中吗？难道你只眷顾你喜悦的人而已吗？
这时主让我想起了昨天灵修所读的一片经文，是哈巴谷书。（我相信这并不是偶然，因为我灵修时很少会翻看旧约，尤其是充满诗篇的先知书。）书中记载着先知哈巴谷向创造主诉苦，为什么公义正直的神能够容忍暴虐在世上发生？
哈巴谷书1：13 – 你眼目清洁，不看邪僻，不看奸恶；行诡诈的，你为何看着不理呢？恶人吞灭比自己公义的，你为何静默不语呢？
创造主回答道
哈巴谷书2：3—因为这默示有一定的日期，快要应验，并不虚谎。虽然延迟，还要等候；因为必然临到，不再延迟。
感谢主，因为这篇文章，我的内心得到了真正的平复。是的，事情的来龙去脉，我是一无所知地，只有全能的上帝知道，我可没有一丝的权利审判这件事情。要知道事情的真相总会被一层又一层的谎言包住，我的智慧始终是有限地，但是我相信纸是包不住火，黑暗能够瞒过一时，却瞒不过一世。神必不让谎言迷惑众人，他必使公义和真理彰显。
这时神感动我，要我为明福的家人与朋友祷告。说真的，我第一次位素未谋面的人祷告，心中却感觉到无比的悲伤，眼泪也不禁潸然落下。我知道我心中的悲伤远远不及明福家人的万分之一，可是这真是我唯一能做的事，就是为他们祷告。同时我也是第一发自内心的向主祈求，求他的国度早日降临，让人们不再受苦，不再悲伤。另一方面也增添有关人事的忍耐，不要让悲愤冲昏了脑袋，而做出让黑暗 能够反击的事情，反而靠着主的平静与智慧，查出真相，还明福一个公道，还世人一个真相，阿门！