何谓三十而立

或许会觉得很出奇地，为什么我的部落格再次出现华语。
说真的，除了第一个文章，我都是用英文写出来。
或许看到都不明白，因为我的英文表达能力真的。。。 XD

所以呢，我决定抛开这个包袱。
我之所以用英文写部落格，不是为了什么，只不过现在我身边的每一个朋友都是以英语交谈。
为了让他们懂得我内心的世界，我只好以英语作为我表达的工具，顺便磨练我的英语，盼望抛砖引玉，是我的英文得以进步。

可是呢。。。无论我再如努力，我发觉。。。不单只是部落格，我的生活依然一塌糊涂。。。
我为了别人。。。甚至将内心深处的优点都开始更改，可以说是改到我都有时不知自己正在做什么。。。
也许她所得对，我的期望放得太大，往往事情发展得与我的期望完全相反，招致我内心受到伤害。感觉上好像自己虐待自己 XD

可是呢，当人类没了期望，他还有什么动力或理由活下去，还是他活着是为着别人而活。。。

刚才我与朋友聚餐，他们谈到了假期该去那里游玩。虽然知道不是太应该，可是因为内心的创伤和过去的种种，我马上封闭了我内心的雀跃和期望的情感。因为我知道无论旅程有多精彩，或有多好玩，甚至有多麻烦都与我无关，因为工作关系而不容我多想的，我是没有任何的正确理由让我可以放下工作上的责任而去游玩。
我顿时蛮后悔，因为在去到聚餐地点之前，我还在犹豫要不要去。当时内心真的真的想马上回家，一是时间关系，二是觉得去不去都没什么大不了，反正我都不是第一次错过朋友的聚会。
可是因为我心想就是因为每次都错过，是不是更加地要珍惜每一次可以相聚的时间呢。。。结果又是一次“自残”的事件， 嗨。。。。。。

想来我真的需要好好的管理我心中能够的期望。。。飘渺的期望应该舍弃了
孔子说：“三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳顺，七十而随心所欲。”
也许我该开始学会放下自己的面具，诚实的面对自己。因为我看到其实很多人实际上真的很年轻，可是他们的思想已经到达了孔子所谓四十，五十，六十或七十的境界了。

就算我的部落格因为以华语书写而导致没有人欣赏又如何呢？
至少我以我最真肯的表达方式来展现出我的内心，何必在乎别人的眼光呢。。。
若我以别人的方式来拉近彼此的距离，却感到内心依然空虚，我何苦为难我自己呢,对不对？^-^

promotion!!!

yeah... finanlly i get promote in my working place=)
but when i 1st get my salary increment letter, i was not so statisfy because my salary just increase abit only =(
but when my salary come out , i realize that the total was more than 50% increase (plus my OT, INSENTIVE and+++) Praise God for that.
Because of i so happy ... i just realize that i over spend abit XD (my abit is really not abit only, LOL)
BUt nevermind, 1st month, manja sendiri abit for such a hard work for so long time XD (many excuss)
Thank God for that =) when you put your trust in Him, even in the midst of the storm(global financial melt down), He still will provide all our need (my salary go increment) =)

kl trip =)

yippy...just come back from KL.thank God for He provides all my need =)

at 1st , really praise God that He release financial blessing so i not need strugggle of lack of money during i at KLand most important that i got extra $$$ to spend XD

holiday always feel so short,3 days just past like tat onlyand when is my next 3 days? XD

1st day when i arrive KL, actually i can't do much thing because raining there, so after Joshua fetch me back to his house i just sleep until evening go out with Joshua and Edmond.it was not bad, Edmond brought us went to sunway shopping.And it was very lucky because got sale there, i just bought 3 shirts for my friend and i found that got 1 shirt it look really nice but don't have my size =(
after shopping, they plan to brought me to Asia Cafe, but because the driver miss 1 junction.. we were going all the way to Klang,haha... it take almost 1 hour to go back Subang. LOL!!! i still appereciate wat he had done because i "accidently" visit part of KL, thx... LOL XD

then the next day was sunday. i went to Harvest Generation to attend service=) i really have a very blessing time at there. because they had come to our church b4, i felt so relax at there and no need to worry i been like a stranger=) but... the way they introduce me to another church member jau... ( how can inrtoduce me as a sexy model to another people , i shy lah XD)after that they brought me went for lunch. really 1st time i hear dry "bak gu teh"=) after then Chris sent me all the way to Mid Valley... i been so touch because actually he needed to attend a practice in church ;)and in MPH at Mid Valley really have a good time at there... the manager treat me so good=) (because some of the manager really like a "manager"), learn a lot from her and she very helpful=)at night i felt so bless again because Harvest Generation had BBQ =) i got another free
meal at there XD and i have a very very good time at there=)

3rd day, also last day. i went to popular bookfest... it really big and a lot of book at there... until i spent nearly 200 at thereXDbefore i go back, Ms Kuan, head of MPH merchandising dept. sent me go to KL sentral, wau... MPH all staff also very good=)

these three days really want to thank God because all the driver who was fetching me all amaze that that particular time at partiular road should be having a bad traffic jam but it is very SMOOTH=) PTL ;)
2nd was Joshua complain that his room is very hot at night but he told me that don't know why this 2 night is very cold ( really... he use blanket cover himself like a dumpling XD) wau, God has bless me a lot =)
3rd was Joshua become my very good driver=) you know why? because these 3 days he is the one who fetching me go alot place and this is a great sacrifice for him like today he need to wake up so early to fetch me go KTM-) thx Joshua =)

and last,Thank God for His provide and Thank you all the colleague in MPH at KL =)

H1N1

wau

since friday i need to wear a mask during working because H1N1

it is very pain you know!!

my ears were suffer =(

but nothing can do...

plp said prevention better than cure

what can i said?? haiz....

and got rumors saying that jusco got staff kena H1N1

people were very "kind" and "worry" about the love one

so just spread out all this kind of sms.

it effective, Jusco is so "peace" during weekend

But, is that good?

i don't think so....

1st... it will let plp make it as a habit..

"because i don't want people die or suffer about this virus,

so i better inform them without finding the truth..."

truth or not no so important

PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE

but how can like that...

the rumors will cause a lot people suffer..

let say got rumors say that we have no more rice on this earth,

then all plp go to grabs rices as much as they can

what is the side effect about it?

2nd, can this action make people feel peace and harmony?

sure not...

every step they walk oso in fear...

scare this happen, worry that happen. ..

from the normal prevention become extreme action been taken...

is that the life you want to have it?

i not saying that i am very wise

i also can't comfirm that Jusco really got staff kena H1N1 or not

but i know that got one method that better than this (send out the sms to "help" people avoid from H1N1)

that is PRAY!!!

because i know that nothing is greater than HIM =)

come on brother and sister

if you know what i talking about

just rise up and pray through it

don't let darkness overcome us,

but let us become a light shine to this world and bring the hope to this world again =)

working at midnight

guess wat?

i just come back from work=)

u may ask me, m i crazy? it's already 2.45am

hehe. . . i will asnwer you, yes=)

why have to working at midnight?

because we can concentrate to finish our assignment...

even i work as a customer service asst.

i still can't accept that customer keep asking me question when i need to concentrate to rush some work,

yet, i still need to patient

because recently our HQ decide let the customer rate our service

oh goodness...

it is another oppunity that God want to expand my patient capacity ;)

and really , i not mind and won't complain have to work at midnight

because i am the one who suggest it XD

but i really can't stand that we had to stop our work because our system DOWN!!!

i really speechless. . .

yet ,i still thank God that major assigment already finish..

i just want to pray that we still able finish all the work before the date line..

and now i had to concentrate and pray hard

because next week i will travel to KL, yippi!!!=)

hopefully this trip will be fruitfullness and open my eyes to learn=)

thank you JESUS that you provide all my need=)

exceedingly, abundance and above all else !!!

wau!!
my birthday was 2nd of August,
yet until this week, i still recieve my birthday's present!!
the blessing of God really abundance flow to me
that i might think or ask!!!
thank you Jesus
for you are my Jehovah Jireh--God is my provider=)
and now i have more faith that during i go KL sure got place to let me stay overnite
and the financial blessing will keep flowing to me ;)

door and path to the kingdom of God

time is moving very fast
i just realize that i had been christian more than 3 years edi.
many thing has pass through
and in God's presence, i found that i really grow a lot
even some area i still need to improve XD
but i realize that when i look to an event, i able to look through it in a more bigger picture and able find a solution if it need
THANK YOU JESUS=)

on this path , i realize that God's word really very real in our life
it said that the door to heaven is narrow...
and it is easier for a camel go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.
why the door is narrow? because a lot people squeeze inside? o because God want to make sure all soul enter into heaven must pure and holy?
i think no, God is not cruel, He is full of mercy and grace and love, how will He do this for His people=)
but then what problems leh?
human's problem loh =)
y? because earthly burden which we carry making us become "fat" , when compare to the door of Heaven, it show the door become very narrow
the earthly thing not only $$, but also our character, like disobedience, pride, stubborn, unforgiveness,lazy and ++++

Wow, why i know that?
because i found that if i act in opposite of the character on top, i grow much more better=)
but yet i know that i still not 100% in all this positive attitude, i still need to continue press on =)
but i believe that not only on my foundation, through the ministry of another people life it encourage me to continue press on and walk on this path.
because i not alone on this path, for He never leave me, nor forsake me=)

LOve you Jesus=)