花

花
是一种很普通的植物
也可以是很很特别的植物

有些花
你不需花心思栽种，它也可以很自然的成长；
有些花，你得按时施肥、浇水，烈阳当空时得收进室内，不让它面对风吹雨打，只期待它能茁壮成长，开出一朵美丽的花，供人欣赏；
甚至有些花值得人为它奉上数十年的春秋，只为那一霎那的花开。。。

花是个可以很坚强的植物，无论环境多困难，它总可以为着那短短的开花时段而努力地活下去，就算无人问津也毫无懊悔；
花也可以是很脆弱的植物，挨不起风吹雨打，脆弱到它的生命就只有那一瞬间就消失，根本来不及展现它的优美就消逝。。。

当时坚强时，就算成长过程中遭人践踏，它也不屈不挠的或者下去，有时甚至比杂草的生命还顽强；
可是当它脆弱时，就算是你好意浇水灌溉它，它也会因为长期所受到的燥热，将你充满爱心的水转换成沸水，活活的烫伤自己。

花开花落有定时，只不过没有人真正地去等候。
含苞欲放时期望一鸣惊人；
花开满园时却无人问津；
残花败柳时还有人强求。
难道真的直等到花谢叶枯时，才是它一生最宝贵的时刻。。。可是花香已消去，花色也淡褪，直到那时，惋惜真的能表达内心的失望吗？

到底要怎么样，我们心中的那朵花会开出一朵鲜艳耀目的花呢？

成长

最近发觉工作越来越富有挑战性了．．
同事之间的沟通．．．
工作的速度．．．
任务的安排．．．
甚至工作的时间（偶然得留在公司直到半夜）
不过也不是在抱怨些什么，因为知道这是必经过的人生路程，惟有熬炼过才会成长
加油ＫＥＬＶＩＮ＝）

最近也同时发觉我得好好平衡我的时间了．．．
我得用两天的时间去回复别人的信息，真的很大问题咧
现在的我不是处理着什么亿万ｐｒｏｊｅｃｔ已经忙到这个程度了，
要是将来真的要我处理大型任务时，我会不会完全忽略家人的感受呢。。。
不是太敢想象ＸＤ　

内心的创伤也正在复原当中。。。
也许是因为我本身蛮悲观，或者内心还有些破口还没有复原，
发觉我自己的情绪还蛮大起伏地。。。
一幕电视剧竟然可以让我流泪一小时。。。
看来我还得继续努力了＝）　

＊若我们以失望的经验去约束我们以后的盼望，我们将会变得时常怨天尤人，对一切事情都失去了期望，甚至没有了推动力继续做任何事；
不过若我们能分析当时的情况，以一个成熟的想法去面对它，不能否认我们依然会有少许失望，但是我们能够学会如何执行优先的事物，并且懂得放下次要的事物。这样我们的器量自然会有所提升，下次再面对同样或更大的生活挑战时，我们才不会束手无策，任有问题摆布我们＝）
要么胜过，要么被胜过＝）

何谓三十而立

或许会觉得很出奇地，为什么我的部落格再次出现华语。
说真的，除了第一个文章，我都是用英文写出来。
或许看到都不明白，因为我的英文表达能力真的。。。 XD

所以呢，我决定抛开这个包袱。
我之所以用英文写部落格，不是为了什么，只不过现在我身边的每一个朋友都是以英语交谈。
为了让他们懂得我内心的世界，我只好以英语作为我表达的工具，顺便磨练我的英语，盼望抛砖引玉，是我的英文得以进步。

可是呢。。。无论我再如努力，我发觉。。。不单只是部落格，我的生活依然一塌糊涂。。。
我为了别人。。。甚至将内心深处的优点都开始更改，可以说是改到我都有时不知自己正在做什么。。。
也许她所得对，我的期望放得太大，往往事情发展得与我的期望完全相反，招致我内心受到伤害。感觉上好像自己虐待自己 XD

可是呢，当人类没了期望，他还有什么动力或理由活下去，还是他活着是为着别人而活。。。

刚才我与朋友聚餐，他们谈到了假期该去那里游玩。虽然知道不是太应该，可是因为内心的创伤和过去的种种，我马上封闭了我内心的雀跃和期望的情感。因为我知道无论旅程有多精彩，或有多好玩，甚至有多麻烦都与我无关，因为工作关系而不容我多想的，我是没有任何的正确理由让我可以放下工作上的责任而去游玩。
我顿时蛮后悔，因为在去到聚餐地点之前，我还在犹豫要不要去。当时内心真的真的想马上回家，一是时间关系，二是觉得去不去都没什么大不了，反正我都不是第一次错过朋友的聚会。
可是因为我心想就是因为每次都错过，是不是更加地要珍惜每一次可以相聚的时间呢。。。结果又是一次“自残”的事件， 嗨。。。。。。

想来我真的需要好好的管理我心中能够的期望。。。飘渺的期望应该舍弃了
孔子说：“三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳顺，七十而随心所欲。”
也许我该开始学会放下自己的面具，诚实的面对自己。因为我看到其实很多人实际上真的很年轻，可是他们的思想已经到达了孔子所谓四十，五十，六十或七十的境界了。

就算我的部落格因为以华语书写而导致没有人欣赏又如何呢？
至少我以我最真肯的表达方式来展现出我的内心，何必在乎别人的眼光呢。。。
若我以别人的方式来拉近彼此的距离，却感到内心依然空虚，我何苦为难我自己呢,对不对？^-^

promotion!!!

yeah... finanlly i get promote in my working place=)
but when i 1st get my salary increment letter, i was not so statisfy because my salary just increase abit only =(
but when my salary come out , i realize that the total was more than 50% increase (plus my OT, INSENTIVE and+++) Praise God for that.
Because of i so happy ... i just realize that i over spend abit XD (my abit is really not abit only, LOL)
BUt nevermind, 1st month, manja sendiri abit for such a hard work for so long time XD (many excuss)
Thank God for that =) when you put your trust in Him, even in the midst of the storm(global financial melt down), He still will provide all our need (my salary go increment) =)

kl trip =)

yippy...just come back from KL.thank God for He provides all my need =)

at 1st , really praise God that He release financial blessing so i not need strugggle of lack of money during i at KLand most important that i got extra $$$ to spend XD

holiday always feel so short,3 days just past like tat onlyand when is my next 3 days? XD

1st day when i arrive KL, actually i can't do much thing because raining there, so after Joshua fetch me back to his house i just sleep until evening go out with Joshua and Edmond.it was not bad, Edmond brought us went to sunway shopping.And it was very lucky because got sale there, i just bought 3 shirts for my friend and i found that got 1 shirt it look really nice but don't have my size =(
after shopping, they plan to brought me to Asia Cafe, but because the driver miss 1 junction.. we were going all the way to Klang,haha... it take almost 1 hour to go back Subang. LOL!!! i still appereciate wat he had done because i "accidently" visit part of KL, thx... LOL XD

then the next day was sunday. i went to Harvest Generation to attend service=) i really have a very blessing time at there. because they had come to our church b4, i felt so relax at there and no need to worry i been like a stranger=) but... the way they introduce me to another church member jau... ( how can inrtoduce me as a sexy model to another people , i shy lah XD)after that they brought me went for lunch. really 1st time i hear dry "bak gu teh"=) after then Chris sent me all the way to Mid Valley... i been so touch because actually he needed to attend a practice in church ;)and in MPH at Mid Valley really have a good time at there... the manager treat me so good=) (because some of the manager really like a "manager"), learn a lot from her and she very helpful=)at night i felt so bless again because Harvest Generation had BBQ =) i got another free
meal at there XD and i have a very very good time at there=)

3rd day, also last day. i went to popular bookfest... it really big and a lot of book at there... until i spent nearly 200 at thereXDbefore i go back, Ms Kuan, head of MPH merchandising dept. sent me go to KL sentral, wau... MPH all staff also very good=)

these three days really want to thank God because all the driver who was fetching me all amaze that that particular time at partiular road should be having a bad traffic jam but it is very SMOOTH=) PTL ;)
2nd was Joshua complain that his room is very hot at night but he told me that don't know why this 2 night is very cold ( really... he use blanket cover himself like a dumpling XD) wau, God has bless me a lot =)
3rd was Joshua become my very good driver=) you know why? because these 3 days he is the one who fetching me go alot place and this is a great sacrifice for him like today he need to wake up so early to fetch me go KTM-) thx Joshua =)

and last,Thank God for His provide and Thank you all the colleague in MPH at KL =)

H1N1

wau

since friday i need to wear a mask during working because H1N1

it is very pain you know!!

my ears were suffer =(

but nothing can do...

plp said prevention better than cure

what can i said?? haiz....

and got rumors saying that jusco got staff kena H1N1

people were very "kind" and "worry" about the love one

so just spread out all this kind of sms.

it effective, Jusco is so "peace" during weekend

But, is that good?

i don't think so....

1st... it will let plp make it as a habit..

"because i don't want people die or suffer about this virus,

so i better inform them without finding the truth..."

truth or not no so important

PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE

but how can like that...

the rumors will cause a lot people suffer..

let say got rumors say that we have no more rice on this earth,

then all plp go to grabs rices as much as they can

what is the side effect about it?

2nd, can this action make people feel peace and harmony?

sure not...

every step they walk oso in fear...

scare this happen, worry that happen. ..

from the normal prevention become extreme action been taken...

is that the life you want to have it?

i not saying that i am very wise

i also can't comfirm that Jusco really got staff kena H1N1 or not

but i know that got one method that better than this (send out the sms to "help" people avoid from H1N1)

that is PRAY!!!

because i know that nothing is greater than HIM =)

come on brother and sister

if you know what i talking about

just rise up and pray through it

don't let darkness overcome us,

but let us become a light shine to this world and bring the hope to this world again =)

working at midnight

guess wat?

i just come back from work=)

u may ask me, m i crazy? it's already 2.45am

hehe. . . i will asnwer you, yes=)

why have to working at midnight?

because we can concentrate to finish our assignment...

even i work as a customer service asst.

i still can't accept that customer keep asking me question when i need to concentrate to rush some work,

yet, i still need to patient

because recently our HQ decide let the customer rate our service

oh goodness...

it is another oppunity that God want to expand my patient capacity ;)

and really , i not mind and won't complain have to work at midnight

because i am the one who suggest it XD

but i really can't stand that we had to stop our work because our system DOWN!!!

i really speechless. . .

yet ,i still thank God that major assigment already finish..

i just want to pray that we still able finish all the work before the date line..

and now i had to concentrate and pray hard

because next week i will travel to KL, yippi!!!=)

hopefully this trip will be fruitfullness and open my eyes to learn=)

thank you JESUS that you provide all my need=)